Author's Note: This is a more personal piece about my grandmother, who we visited this past Mother's Day. It was hard to hear her not remember who we were, and this poem is just about how sad it is to see someone you love fade away before your eyes.
Little still lingers within your eyes --
Still the same color,
But not recognizing
Me;
Or your son.
I place the flowers on your bedside table --
Next to your pills,
Half empty, half full.
How are you doing?
But how silly of me,
For of course,
You'll only stare.
I want to do something,
Say something,
That will make you look up and see,
See with the eyes that I remember
The eyes that saw me through
Missions, and
Adventures,
I want you.
Not this shell of who you used to be.
You have faded,
Faded away with the color on the sheets.
Almost too light to see
Anymore.
I touch your hand
It is fragile and bony
I stare at your face,
It too,
Disappearing
Before my eyes.
Suddenly, a movement,
The nurse swings to your side:
Who are these people?
Make them leave.
Then we are gone,
Leaving you lost.
Alone.
Fading away with the color on the sheets.
Autumn,
ReplyDeleteI really like this piece, and I respect that you had the courage to put this up on your blog. The form that you tend to write poems in is probably one of my favorites, because it really tells a story but is still a poem. I really love how much of you I see in this, I can even picture you reading this in my head, which is a good sign. Really nice job Autumn!
Well, I must say that this is so heart felt that it made me cry. I am not really sure of any higher praise than evoking that level of emotion in a reader. Thank you for sharing. It's refreshing to read something real, when so often I am forced to read things that are, frankly, assignments.
ReplyDeleteAs Sophia said, I liked how you told the story of your emotions, but it was in a poem format. Even though I've never experienced this, the poem conveyed the strong emotion so effectively that I could visualize and almost feel the pain of this visit. I also liked how there really wasn't a stanza pattern and you played with the syntax perfectly. Nice job Autumn.
ReplyDeleteAutumn this is really good. I loved all of the emotion you put into to it, and you did a great job with your words and expressing your emotions with them. Fantastic job Autumn!
ReplyDeleteWow Autumn. I don't even like know what to say back to that. I think that was seriously like legit the best poem that I have ever read. The way your descriptions worked with how your lines were formed were sooo good. Amazing job Autumn:)
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really personal and you did a great job expressing your emotions in it. It's really nice to read a poem about something real instead of a book or movie so you did a really great job with this, your vocab choice was also really good and painted a picture in my mind so nice job!
ReplyDeleteThat was soooo good! Just the patterns of everything and how it flowed was amazing. Like others said its really cool how you tell a story and can picture everything happening while still having emotion in it.
ReplyDeleteThat left me speechless with sorrow, for I am sharing this experience also. It's an amazing poem that I could read again and again. I honestly don't have enough words that I think could fit the amount of praise this should get.
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