Author's Note: This piece is about a movie I recently watched in which a woman is left widowed by a freak accident that kills her husband. It is taking her awhile for the actuality of what has happened to sink in, and I wanted to portray the pain of what she was feeling through this poem. I experimented with format and capitalization of words that I thought were important feelings or objects. Comment what you think and any feedback for me!
I return home,
to what I Thought
was You and me.
But instead,
I find the House
Empty.
I return home
to where We used
to Stand
But now --
you've Gone;
Empty is my hand.
I return home
to once a Room filled
with Laughter
But now,
only Silence takes place
of what we Were.
And I return home
to the Regret
and the Stillness
Asking if the Pain of this
could ever Be
Less.
Hey Autumn,
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem, and I think the revision helped it a lot. I love the format of this poem, and the rhyming you do, because it really moves the poem forward. The only thing I was confused about was the capitalization, because I realized you capitalized the main ideas, but it kind of breaks up the flow a little bit. Other than that, you did awesome! good job.
I think this works well. I enjoyed how you used capitalization creatively to add meaning to the poem, to emphasize different words. There is a somber stillness to the poem which I believe you accomplish by having it be so sparse.
ReplyDeleteThe format was very cool and I liked the way you capitalized certain words to add emphasis. I don't think there is a lot you can do to make it better so great job!
ReplyDeleteOooh, I like this. The format was very unique and added to the effect of the whole thing. The poem did have sort of an eerie stillness to it- it was a very good, creepy vibe. If that made any sense at all, hehe. Anyway, I thought this was really a job well done.
ReplyDeleteI like this piece a lot. Your format was really creative and the inspiration was really cool. You did a great job of capturing how someone might feel if that happened to them. Good job!
ReplyDelete