The King stands
Surveying his kingdom;
An old friend at his side.
The two converse
About times past,
And times to come.
They look out
Across the land
That belongs to the King
"It is quite a beautiful sight, Your Majesty."
Says the friend.
"Ah, yes, indeed."
Says the King.
Solemn and quiet,
They watch in silence
The kingdom that stands before them.
And when the time comes,
They say their goodbyes.
The King
Surveying his kingdom.
Watching.
Watching...
Watching.
Watching...
I really like this poem Autumn. I thought the format you used was cool, how you used quotation marks. I also liked how you sort of left it open by saying "Watching.." Great job!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. You know, this isn't one of my favorite paintings, but you did such a great job with the writing that it makes me look at it again with a fresh eye. That shows you how good the writing is!
ReplyDeleteAutumn, you did a great job with this poem. What I especially liked about it is how it's so true to your personality, lively and sweet. :) (I really hope this isn't creepy) ... But anyways, the way you chose to end the poem with "watching..." really set off the mood and changed the poem completely. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the what you turned this painting into. The lion reminded me a lot of Aslan in Narnia, so I agree with the, "his majesty" concept. I thought you wrote the poem very well, and I liked the ending a lot. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was the best poem I've read all year. You did a really great job, and I loved the voice and the mood of the poem,really nice job.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really beautiful piece. It's short, but doesn't leave me feeling ripped off. It was just the right length. I loved the mood, setting, and voice. Excellent job.
ReplyDeleteAmazing! I like how you incorporated dialogue into a poem. Overall I really like the whole poem, even though I do wish that it was longer in order to see more of a story unfold.
ReplyDeleteI love how regal it sounds yet there is a sense of peace, pride, and a contempt feeling about it. I love how great the poem correlates to art. i don't know if you meant to do this, but I took the sun in the painting as the lion's friend. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI love it, at first I didn't really like that painting, because I didn't really see any meaning in it, but your poem got me to think about it a little more and see that it has some sort of meaning after all. I really like your format, and especially how you had dialogue in it, all of it was amazing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece. I thought it showed how you capture your ideas and put them into great writing form. I really invisioned this picture when I was reading this piece and more. It opened up what was really in the picture and added more to it. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job with the format! It sounded really good with the dialog also. You did a really nice job of describing the scene without taking anything away from the poem. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem! It almost sounded like it could be a lullaby. I agree with what Claire said, because at first I also didn't see much meaning in the painting but after reading the poem it changed how I looked at it. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI thought that this was really good! I loved the way you incorporated dialogue into the poem. I liked how you described the scene and made my think differently about this painting. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece. I thought it was really really good. I agree with Natalie it reminded me of Narnia! Loved it!
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