Author's Note: In this piece I was experimenting with different techniques, styles, and formats. It was orignally a paragraph of just free writing, but the writing fit more into a poem format so this is how it turned out.
White crystals falling gently to the gorund --
frosting the early morning grass with a different kind of dew
As the cool substance hits the ground --
once green and lush --
it slowly starts to build up
into a thick layering of wonder and beauty
The sky --
still starry from the night before --
begins to brighten;
pale purples and pinks,
oranges and yellow --
finally to a pale, pale blue
Being in this world full of tiny white flakes --
descending ever so softly to kiss the ground --
is like being inside a dream
A dream so real,
you can even feel the flakes landing on your skin,
catching on your eyelashes,
encasing you in a cool,
white blanket --
softer than anything in the world
Your heart feels lighter than air,
floating up towards the sky
Then it stops beating all together --
and this dream becomes reality.
That's really pretty, Autumn! I'd like to be in that dream, it sounds so peaceful.
ReplyDeleteI do not agree. It sounds terrible. I would go insane in this world. Just kidding... Alaina I deffinately agree. The way you construct your sentences is amazing Autumn! You have a real talent for writing!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good! your adjectives project the perfect image in your head. That dream would be very calming
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this one, it felt like a peom trying to get out. The pictures you wanted to paint with words really were singular images that may come out better in a different form. In contrast, the other piece with you running your fingers through the grass, really worked as a narrative piece of prose. I would recommend trying it as a poem, and if you want to work together on it, I'd be really happy to help.:)
ReplyDeleteThis was cool! Like Morgan said the adjectives describe it really well. That would be an awesome dream!
ReplyDeleteThat was sooo coool, I could see it all. And I love the last line and how you ended it!!!
ReplyDelete