Author's Note: This piece is a free writing piece straight from my journal. It was of a personal experience I had, and it brought back great memories that I thought would be fun to share with the readers.
The crackle of the flames licking up the side of the metal pit fills the silent night air, creating an orange glow on all of our faces. We sit huddled up on benches, over-sized blankets on our laps; the corners trailing to the ground where our feet lay upon the cool pavement. A slight breeze blows against our faces, wafting in the nighttime smells of the dew settling upon the grass and the leaves' crisp, and damp smell. Bright stars twinkle overhead, visible for miles all around. We reminiscence about old jokes, and laugh at how silly the scariness of the movie that had us hiding under our hands just mere hours ago seems in this atmosphere; as if something terrible couldn't exist within the sphere of orange glow around us.
I stare up at the sky and feel the heat of the fire flood my cheeks and warm my cold nose. I wrap the blanket tighter around myself, balling my hands into fist with the thick material stuck between my fingers and pressed tightly against my palm; trying to rid them of the numbing sensation.
Suddenly a marshmallow falls off the end of someones rod, tumbling down into the red flames below it. We all sit quiet for a moment, but then erupt into laughter; shaking silence from our shoulders and soon the mood of our circle melts away the cold. Our laughter and the smell of marshmallows takes the place of the silence, and we enjoy the warmth and fun until the flames die out.
This is really good! Your super discriptive and very poetic. Try some poems
ReplyDeleteI remember this!! It was freezing but really fun!! I really like the way you made it flow really well. Good job! I agree with Sophia it is very poetic!
ReplyDeleteI was really good I actually felt like I was there!
ReplyDelete~katelyn
That is very refreshing scene. I think it would be better if you expand on it and make it into a story rather than a paragraph
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me so much of the days that I used to go camping with my family up north. It paints a very vivid scene its almost like you are there. I agree with Sam though, it would make it even better if you could expand on it and make it a little longer so that the reader is totally enchanted and really "there" by the end.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job describing this, and I could picture it in my head very well. It sounds like it was a lot of fun!
ReplyDelete